Carry On, Jeeves

Коллекция текстов · humor

Carry on, Jeeves
PENGUIN BOOKS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street,…
1—Jeeves Takes Charge (1)
Now, touching this business of old Jeeves—my man, you know—how do we stand? Lots of people think I'm much too dependent on him. My Aunt Aga…
1—Jeeves Takes Charge (2)
From breakfast on I felt like a bag-snatcher at a railway station. I had to hang about waiting for the parcel to be put on the hall table,…
1—Jeeves Takes Charge (3)
'As I am no longer in your employment, sir, I can speak freely without appearing to take a liberty. In my opinion you and Lady Florence wer…
2—The Artistic Career of Corky (1)
You will notice, as you flit through these reminiscences of mine, that from time to time the scene of action is laid in and around the city…
2—The Artistic Career of Corky (2)
But after a month or so I began to hesitate again. It struck me that it was playing it a bit low-down on the poor chap, avoiding him like t…
3—Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest (1)
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare—or, if not, it's some equally brainy bird—who says that it's al…
3—Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest (2)
Directly I managed to tear myself away that night and get home, I made up my mind that this was jolly well the last time that I went about…
4—Jeeves and the Hard-Boiled Egg (1)
Sometimes of a morning, as I've sat in bed sucking down the early cup of tea and watched Jeeves flitting about the room and putting out the…
4—Jeeves and the Hard-Boiled Egg (2)
Bicky didn't seem to think much of it. 'Do you mean to say that anyone would be mug enough to part with solid cash just to shake hands with…
5—The Aunt and the Sluggard (1)
Now that it's all over, I may as well admit that there was a time during the affair of Rockmetteller Todd when I thought that Jeeves was go…
5—The Aunt and the Sluggard (2)
He vanished; and the aunt took the chair which I'd forgotten to offer her. She looked at me in rather a rummy way. It was a nasty look. It…
5—The Aunt and the Sluggard (3)
'My dear chap,' I said, 'you know I'd do anything in reason; but—' 'You must come, Bertie. You've got to. Something's got to be done to div…
6—The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy (1)
'Jeeves,' I said, emerging from the old tub, 'rally round.' 'Yes, sir.' I beamed on the man with no little geniality. I was putting in a we…
6—The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy (2)
But when I got to the house I found Harold sitting in the midst of a mass of gifts so luxurious and costly that I simply hadn't the crust t…
6—The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy (3)
I don't know if you know this Palace of Beauty place? It's a sort of aquarium full of the delicately nurtured instead of fishes. You go in,…
7—Without the Option (1)
The evidence was all in. The machinery of the law had worked without a hitch. And the beak, having adjusted a pair of pince-nez which looke…
7—Without the Option (2)
Her voice put the lid on it. It might have been Honoria herself talking. Honoria Glossop has a voice like a lion tamer making some authorit…
7—Without the Option (3)
'I think it would be judicious to apprise her of the facts yourself, sir, instead of allowing her to hear of them through the medium of a l…
8—Fixing it for Freddie (1)
'Jeeves,' I said, looking in on him one afternoon on my return from the club, 'I don't want to interrupt you.' 'No, sir?' 'But I would like…
8—Fixing it for Freddie (2)
'Bertie,' he said, 'one moment. I will stand a good deal, but I will not stand being expected to be grateful.' Looking back at it, I can se…
9—Clustering Round Young Bingo (1)
I blotted the last page of my manuscript and sank back, feeling more or less of a spent force. After incredible sweat of the old brow the t…
9—Clustering Round Young Bingo (2)
Young Bingo uttered a frightful cry of agony. 'What! Is that—that buzzard trying to pinch our cook?' 'Yes, sir.' 'After eating our bread an…
9—Clustering Round Young Bingo (3)
'All right, then. Bung a few necessaries in a bag.' 'I have already done so, sir.' 'Ho!' I said. It's a rummy thing, but when you come down…
10—Bertie Changes his Mind (1)
It has happened so frequently in the past few years that young fellows starting in my profession have come to me for a word of advice, that…
10—Bertie Changes his Mind (2)
I have spoken earlier of resource and the part it plays in the life of a gentleman's personal gentleman. It is a quality peculiarly necessa…