Ukridge

Коллекция текстов · humor

Chapter I (1)
UKRIDGE'S DOG COLLEGE “Laddie,” said Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge, that much-enduring man, helping himself to my tobacco and slipping…
Chapter I (2)
“It will have to be done diplomatically, of course. It might be as well if you did not tell Ukridge what I propose to do. I do not wish to…
Chapter II (1)
UKRIDGE’S ACCIDENT SYNDICATE “Half a minute, laddie,” said Ukridge. And, gripping my arm, he brought me to a halt on the outskirts of the l…
Chapter II (2)
Ukridge drew the mackintosh which he wore indoors and out of doors and in all weathers more closely around him. There was in the action som…
Chapter III (1)
THE DÉBUT OF BATTLING BILLSON It becomes increasingly difficult, I have found, as time goes by, to recall the exact circumstances in which…
Chapter III (2)
With the opening of the second round considerably more spirit was introduced into the affair. The same strange torpidity still held our Bat…
Chapter III (3)
“It’ll give poor old Billson a bit of a jar for the time being, I suppose, but it’ll make him spread himself on Saturday night, and he’ll b…
Chapter IV (1)
FIRST AID FOR DORA Never in the course of a long and intimate acquaintance having been shown any evidence to the contrary, I had always loo…
Chapter IV (2)
It was three days after this that, stirred by a pleasant scent of bacon and coffee, I hurried my dressing and, proceeding to my sitting-roo…
Chapter V (1)
THE RETURN OF BATTLING BILLSON It was a most embarrassing moment, one of those moments which plant lines on the face and turn the hair a di…
Chapter V (2)
Some more data from the child’s inexhaustible store, and then on to the next historic site. “The Bing Street ’Orror!” “In this very ’ouse,…
Chapter V (3)
Alf Todd came on. He came jauntily and in the manner of one moving to a feast or festival. This was the end of a perfect day, and he knew i…
Chapter VI (1)
UKRIDGE SEES HER THROUGH The girl from the typewriting and stenographic bureau had a quiet but speaking eye. At first it had registered not…
Chapter VI (2)
Ukridge laughed with a sharp bitterness that nearly cracked the window-pane. His collar leaped like a live thing. Ukridge’s collar was alwa…
Chapter VII (1)
NO WEDDING BELLS FOR HIM To Ukridge, as might be expected from one of his sunny optimism, the whole affair has long since come to present i…
Chapter VII (2)
“You aren’t going to tell me your fiancée has biffed you in the eye already?” “Have you heard?” said Ukridge, surprised. “Who told you I wa…
Chapter VII (3)
At nine o’clock on the following evening I stood on the steps of Balbriggan waiting for my ring at the bell to be answered. Cats prowled fu…
Chapter VIII (1)
THE LONG ARM OF LOONEY COOTE Given private means sufficiently large to pad them against the moulding buffets of Life, it is extraordinary h…
Chapter VIII (2)
To which, if I had been a hesitating voter of the constituency, I would certainly have replied “No!” for there was something about that gro…
Chapter VIII (3)
A moment later there was no doubt as to whether the audience was interested. A confused uproar broke out in every corner of the hall, and,…
Chapter IX (1)
THE EXIT OF BATTLING BILLSON The Theatre Royal, Llunindnno, is in the middle of the principal thoroughfare of that repellent town, and imme…
Chapter IX (2)
The new-comer was stout, dark, and beady-eyed, and from his manner of easy comradeship and the fact that when he spoke he supplemented word…
Chapter X (1)
UKRIDGE ROUNDS A NASTY CORNER The late Sir Rupert Lakenheath, K.C.M.G., C.B., M.V.O., was one of those men at whom their countries point wi…
Chapter X (2)
It had been arranged between my employer and myself during the preliminary negotiations that I should give up my afternoons to the memoirs…