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The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million

Коллекция текстов · humor

  1. The Trimmed Lamp
    Of course there are two sides to the question. Let us look at the other. We often hear “shop-girls” spoken of. No such persons exist. There…
  2. A Madison Square Arabian Night
    To Carson Chalmers, in his apartment near the square, Phillips brought the evening mail. Beside the routine correspondence there were two i…
  3. The Rubaiyat Of A Scotch Highball
    This document is intended to strike somewhere between a temperance lecture and the “Bartender’s Guide.” Relative to the latter, drink shall…
  4. The Pendulum
    “Eighty-first street—let ’em out, please,” yelled the shepherd in blue. A flock of citizen sheep scrambled out and another flock scrambled…
  5. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
    There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscui…
  6. The Assessor Of Success
    Hastings Beauchamp Morley sauntered across Union Square with a pitying look at the hundreds that lolled upon the park benches. They were a…
  7. The Buyer From Cactus City
    It is well that hay fever and colds do not obtain in the healthful vicinity of Cactus City, Texas, for the dry goods emporium of Navarro &…
  8. The Badge Of Policeman O’Roon
    It cannot be denied that men and women have looked upon one another for the first time and become instantly enamored. It is a risky process…
  9. Brickdust Row
    Blinker was displeased. A man of less culture and poise and wealth would have sworn. But Blinker always remembered that he was a gentleman—…
  10. The Making Of A New Yorker
    Besides many other things, Raggles was a poet. He was called a tramp; but that was only an elliptical way of saying that he was a philosoph…
  11. Vanity And Some Sables
    When “Kid” Brady was sent to the ropes by Molly McKeever’s blue-black eyes he withdrew from the Stovepipe Gang. So much for the power of a…
  12. The Social Triangle
    At the stroke of six Ikey Snigglefritz laid down his goose. Ikey was a tailor’s apprentice. Are there tailor’s apprentices nowadays? At any…
  13. The Purple Dress
    We are to consider the shade known as purple. It is a color justly in repute among the sons and daughters of man. Emperors claim it for the…
  14. The Foreign Policy Of Company 99
    John Byrnes, hose-cart driver of Engine Company No. 99, was afflicted with what his comrades called Japanitis. Byrnes had a war map spread…
  15. The Lost Blend
    Since the bar has been blessed by the clergy, and cocktails open the dinners of the elect, one may speak of the saloon. Teetotalers need no…
  16. A Harlem Tragedy
    Harlem. Mrs. Fink had dropped into Mrs. Cassidy’s flat one flight below. “Ain’t it a beaut?” said Mrs. Cassidy. She turned her face proudly…
  17. According To Their Lights
    Somewhere in the depths of the big city, where the unquiet dregs are forever being shaken together, young Murray and the Captain had met an…
  18. A Midsummer Knight’s Dream
    “The knights are dead; Their swords are rust. Except a few who have to hust- Le all the time To raise the dust.” Dear Reader: It was summer…
  19. The Last Leaf
    In a little district west of Washington Square the streets have run crazy and broken themselves into small strips called “places.” These “p…
  20. The Count And The Wedding Guest
    One evening when Andy Donovan went to dinner at his Second Avenue boarding-house, Mrs. Scott introduced him to a new boarder, a young lady,…
  21. The Country Of Elusion
    The cunning writer will choose an indefinable subject, for he can then set down his theory of what it is; and next, at length, his concepti…
  22. The Ferry Of Unfulfilment
    At the street corner, as solid as granite in the “rush-hour” tide of humanity, stood the Man from Nome. The Arctic winds and sun had staine…
  23. The Tale Of A Tainted Tenner
    Money talks. But you may think that the conversation of a little old ten-dollar bill in New York would be nothing more than a whisper. Oh,…
  24. Elsie In New York
    No, bumptious reader, this story is not a continuation of the Elsie series. But if your Elsie had lived over here in our big city there mig…
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