The Gentle Grafter

Коллекция текстов · humor

1. The Octopus Marooned
   H. C. Greening and May Wilson Preston The Octopus Marooned "A trust is its weakest point," said Jeff Peters. "That," said I, "sounds like o…
2. Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet
   Jeff Peters has been engaged in as many schemes for making money as there are recipes for cooking rice in Charleston, S.C. Best of all I li…
3. Modern Rural Sports
   Jeff Peters must be reminded. Whenever he is called upon, pointedly, for a story, he will maintain that his life has been as devoid of inci…
4. The Chair of Philanthromathematics
   "I see that the cause of Education has received the princely gift of more than fifty millions of dollars," said I. I was gleaning the stray…
5. The Hand That Riles the World
   "Many of our great men," said I (apropos of many things), "have declared that they owe their success to the aid and encouragement of some b…
6. The Exact Science of Matrimony
   "As I have told you before," said Jeff Peters, "I never had much confidence in the perfidiousness of woman. As partners or coeducators in t…
7. A Midsummer Masquerade
   "Satan," said Jeff Peters, "is a hard boss to work for. When other people are having their vacation is when he keeps you the busiest. As ol…
8. Shearing the Wolf
   Jeff Peters was always eloquent when the ethics of his profession was under discussion. "The only times," said he, "that me and Andy Tucker…
9. Innocents of Broadway
   "I hope some day to retire from business," said Jeff Peters; "and when I do I don't want anybody to be able to say that I ever got a dollar…
10. Conscience in Art
    "I never could hold my partner, Andy Tucker, down to legitimate ethics of pure swindling," said Jeff Peters to me one day. "Andy had too mu…
11. The Man Higher Up (1)
    Across our two dishes of spaghetti, in a corner of Provenzano's restaurant, Jeff Peters was explaining to me the three kinds of graft. Ever…
12. The Man Higher Up (2)
    "'My dear young friend,' says he, 'I will never forget your generosity. Heaven will reward you. But let me implore you to turn from your wa…
13. A Tempered Wind (1)
    The first time my optical nerves was disturbed by the sight of Buckingham Skinner was in Kansas City. I was standing on a corner when I see…
14. A Tempered Wind (2)
    Atterbury attended to the details of the concern. As I understand it, they was simple. The investors in stock paid in their money, and—well…
15. Hostages to Momus (1)
    I I never got inside of the legitimate line of graft but once. But, one time, as I say, I reversed the decision of the revised statutes and…
16. Hostages to Momus (2)
    After the colonel had finished this, he asked permission to take on a postscript about how he was being treated, so the railroad wouldn't f…
17. The Ethics of Pig
    On an east-bound train I went into the smoker and found Jefferson Peters, the only man with a brain west of the Wabash River who can use hi…