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The Gentle Grafter

Коллекция текстов · humor

  1. The Octopus Marooned
    "A trust is its weakest point," said Jeff Peters. "That," said I, "sounds like one of those unintelligible remarks such as, 'Why is a polic…
  2. Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet
    Jeff Peters has been engaged in as many schemes for making money as there are recipes for cooking rice in Charleston, S.C. Best of all I li…
  3. Modern Rural Sports
    Jeff Peters must be reminded. Whenever he is called upon, pointedly, for a story, he will maintain that his life has been as devoid of inci…
  4. The Chair of Philanthromathematics
    "I see that the cause of Education has received the princely gift of more than fifty millions of dollars," said I. I was gleaning the stray…
  5. The Hand That Riles the World
    "Many of our great men," said I (apropos of many things), "have declared that they owe their success to the aid and encouragement of some b…
  6. The Exact Science of Matrimony
    "As I have told you before," said Jeff Peters, "I never had much confidence in the perfidiousness of woman. As partners or coeducators in t…
  7. A Midsummer Masquerade
    "Satan," said Jeff Peters, "is a hard boss to work for. When other people are having their vacation is when he keeps you the busiest. As ol…
  8. Shearing the Wolf
    Jeff Peters was always eloquent when the ethics of his profession was under discussion. "The only times," said he, "that me and Andy Tucker…
  9. Innocents of Broadway
    "I hope some day to retire from business," said Jeff Peters; "and when I do I don't want anybody to be able to say that I ever got a dollar…
  10. Conscience in Art
    "I never could hold my partner, Andy Tucker, down to legitimate ethics of pure swindling," said Jeff Peters to me one day. "Andy had too mu…
  11. The Man Higher Up - (1)
    Across our two dishes of spaghetti, in a corner of Provenzano's restaurant, Jeff Peters was explaining to me the three kinds of graft. Ever…
  12. The Man Higher Up - (2)
    "'I must confess, Mr. Bassett,' says Ricks, speaking nearly inaudible out of a slice of pie, 'that at this immediate juncture I could not,…
  13. A Tempered Wind - (1)
    The first time my optical nerves was disturbed by the sight of Buckingham Skinner was in Kansas City. I was standing on a corner when I see…
  14. A Tempered Wind - (2)
    When any stockholder had paid in as much as $100, the company issued him a Gold Bond and he became a bondholder. I asked Atterbury one day…
  15. Hostages to Momus - (1)
    I I never got inside of the legitimate line of graft but once. But, one time, as I say, I reversed the decision of the revised statutes and…
  16. Hostages to Momus - (2)
    I put another hundred in a couple of cases of Bordeaux, two quarts of cognac, two hundred Havana regalias with gold bands, and a camp stove…
  17. The Ethics of Pig
    On an east-bound train I went into the smoker and found Jefferson Peters, the only man with a brain west of the Wabash River who can use hi…
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