Sixes and Sevens

Коллекция текстов · humor

I. The Last of the Troubadours (1)
Inexorably Sam Galloway saddled his pony. He was going away from the Rancho Altito at the end of a three-months’ visit. It is not to be exp…
I. The Last of the Troubadours (2)
“She used to smuggle extra grub into my school basket—I’m speaking of Aunt Caroline,” said King James. “I’m going over to Frio City to-day,…
II. The Sleuths
In The Big City a man will disappear with the suddenness and completeness of the flame of a candle that is blown out. All the agencies of i…
III. Witches’ Loaves
Miss Martha Meacham kept the little bakery on the corner (the one where you go up three steps, and the bell tinkles when you open the door)…
IV. The Pride of the Cities
Said Mr. Kipling, “The cities are full of pride, challenging each to each.” Even so. New York was empty. Two hundred thousand of its people…
V. Holding up a Train (1)
Most people would say, if their opinion was asked for, that holding up a train would be a hard job. Well, it isn’t; it’s easy. I have contr…
V. Holding up a Train (2)
As to the train crew, we never had any more trouble with them than if they had been so many sheep. I don’t mean that they are cowards; I me…
VI. Ulysses and the Dogman
Do you know the time of the dogmen? When the forefinger of twilight begins to smudge the clear-drawn lines of the Big City there is inaugur…
VII. The Champion of the Weather
If you should speak of the Kiowa Reservation to the average New Yorker he probably wouldn’t know whether you were referring to a new politi…
VIII. Makes the Whole World Kin
The burglar stepped inside the window quickly, and then he took his time. A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before takin…
IX. At Arms with Morpheus
I never could quite understand how Tom Hopkins came to make that blunder, for he had been through a whole term at a medical college—before…
X. A Ghost of a Chance
“Actually, a hod!” repeated Mrs. Kinsolving, pathetically. Mrs. Bellamy Bellmore arched a sympathetic eyebrow. Thus she expressed condolenc…
XI. Jimmy Hayes and Muriel
I Supper was over, and there had fallen upon the camp the silence that accompanies the rolling of corn-husk cigarettes. The water hole shon…
XII. The Door of Unrest
I sat an hour by sun, in the editor’s room of the Montopolis Weekly Bugle. I was the editor. The saffron rays of the declining sunlight fil…
XIII. The Duplicity of Hargraves (1)
When Major Pendleton Talbot, of Mobile, sir, and his daughter, Miss Lydia Talbot, came to Washington to reside, they selected for a boardin…
XIII. The Duplicity of Hargraves (2)
Late one afternoon the door maid came up and announced an old coloured man who wanted to see Major Talbot. The major asked that he be sent…
XIV. Let Me Feel Your Pulse (1)
So I went to a doctor. “How long has it been since you took any alcohol into your system?” he asked. Turning my head sidewise, I answered,…
XIV. Let Me Feel Your Pulse (2)
“What can it be?” I asked eagerly. “I have taken arsenic and gold, phosphorus, exercise, nux vomica, hydrotherapeutic baths, rest, exciteme…
XV. October and June
The Captain gazed gloomily at his sword that hung upon the wall. In the closet near by was stored his faded uniform, stained and worn by we…
XVI. The Church with an Overshot-Wheel (1)
Lakelands is not to be found in the catalogues of fashionable summer resorts. It lies on a low spur of the Cumberland range of mountains on…
XVI. The Church with an Overshot-Wheel (2)
“I ran away that night. I walked to Atlanta and found work. I gave myself the name of Rose Chester, and have earned my own living ever sinc…
XVII. New York by Camp Fire Light
Away out in the Creek Nation we learned things about New York. We were on a hunting trip, and were camped one night on the bank of a little…
XVIII. The Adventures of Shamrock Jolnes
I am so fortunate as to count Shamrock Jolnes, the great New York detective, among my muster of friends. Jolnes is what is called the “insi…
XIX. The Lady Higher Up
New York City, they said, was deserted; and that accounted, doubtless, for the sounds carrying so far in the tranquil summer air. The breez…
XX. The Greater Coney
“Next Sunday,” said Dennis Carnahan, “I’ll be after going down to see the new Coney Island that’s risen like a phoenix bird from the ashes…
XXI. Law and Order (1)
I found myself in Texas recently, revisiting old places and vistas. At a sheep ranch where I had sojourned many years ago, I stopped for a…
XXI. Law and Order (2)
“‘Luke,’ says I, ‘as office deputy and from a law standpoint, it don’t look to me like this place is properly and legally in the jurisdicti…
XXII. Transformation of Martin Burney
In behalf of Sir Walter’s soothing plant let us look into the case of Martin Burney. They were constructing the Speedway along the west ban…
XXIII. The Caliph and the Cad
Surely there is no pastime more diverting than that of mingling, incognito, with persons of wealth and station. Where else but in those cir…
XXIV. The Diamond of Kali
The original news item concerning the diamond of the goddess Kali was handed in to the city editor. He smiled and held it for a moment abov…
XXV. The Day We Celebrate
“In the tropics” (“Hop-along” Bibb, the bird fancier, was saying to me) “the seasons, months, fortnights, week-ends, holidays, dog-days, Su…