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Heart of the West

Коллекция текстов · humor

  1. Hearts and Crosses
    Baldy Woods reached for the bottle, and got it. Whenever Baldy went for anything he usually—but this is not Baldy’s story. He poured out a…
  2. The Ransom of Mack
    Me and old Mack Lonsbury, we got out of that Little Hide-and-Seek gold mine affair with about $40,000 apiece. I say “old” Mack; but he wasn…
  3. Telemachus, Friend
    Returning from a hunting trip, I waited at the little town of Los Piños, in New Mexico, for the south-bound train, which was one hour late.…
  4. The Handbook of Hymen
    ’Tis the opinion of myself, Sanderson Pratt, who sets this down, that the educational system of the United States should be in the hands of…
  5. The Pimienta Pancakes
    While we were rounding up a bunch of the Triangle-O cattle in the Frio bottoms a projecting branch of a dead mesquite caught my wooden stir…
  6. Seats of the Haughty - (1)
    Golden by day and silver by night, a new trail now leads to us across the Indian Ocean. Dusky kings and princes have found our Bombay of th…
  7. Seats of the Haughty - (2)
    “At six o’clock me and Solly sat down to dinner. Spread! There’s nothing been seen like it since the Cambon snack. It was all served at onc…
  8. Hygeia at the Solito - (1)
    If you are knowing in the chronicles of the ring you will recall to mind an event in the early ’nineties when, for a minute and sundry odd…
  9. Hygeia at the Solito - (2)
    The oddest thing of all was the relation existing between McGuire and his benefactor. The attitude of the invalid toward the cattleman was…
  10. An Afternoon Miracle - (1)
    At the United States end of an international river bridge, four armed rangers sweltered in a little ’dobe hut, keeping a fairly faithful es…
  11. An Afternoon Miracle - (2)
    Spanish, you would say; Andalusian, or, better still, Basque; that compound, like the diamond, of darkness and fire. Hair, the shade of pur…
  12. The Higher Abdication - (1)
    Curly the tramp sidled toward the free-lunch counter. He caught a fleeting glance from the bartender’s eye, and stood still, trying to look…
  13. The Higher Abdication - (2)
    Sam, the cosmopolite, who called bartenders in San Antone by their first name, stood in the door. He was a better zoologist. “Well, ain’t t…
  14. Cupid à la Carte - (1)
    “The dispositions of woman,” said Jeff Peters, after various opinions on the subject had been advanced, “run, regular, to diversions. What…
  15. Cupid à la Carte - (2)
    “In such language Ed Collier discoursed to me, pathetic. I gathered the diagnosis that his affections and his digestions had been implicate…
  16. The Caballero’s Way - (1)
    The Cisco Kid had killed six men in more or less fair scrimmages, had murdered twice as many (mostly Mexicans), and had winged a larger num…
  17. The Caballero’s Way - (2)
    “All right,” said the stranger. “And then what?” “And then,” said the girl, “you must bring your men here and kill him. If not, he will kil…
  18. The Sphinx Apple - (1)
    Twenty miles out from Paradise, and fifteen miles short of Sunrise City, Bildad Rose, the stage-driver, stopped his team. A furious snow ha…
  19. The Sphinx Apple - (2)
    The last sentence captured the windmill man. He was not one to linger in the dumps. “That’s a first-rate scheme, Judge,” he said, heartily.…
  20. The Missing Chord
    I stopped overnight at the sheep-ranch of Rush Kinney, on the Sandy Fork of the Nueces. Mr. Kinney and I had been strangers up to the time…
  21. A Call Loan
    In those days the cattlemen were the anointed. They were the grandees of the grass, kings of the kine, lords of the lea, barons of beef and…
  22. The Princess and the Puma
    There had to be a king and queen, of course. The king was a terrible old man who wore six-shooters and spurs, and shouted in such a tremend…
  23. The Indian Summer of Dry Valley Johnson
    Dry Valley Johnson shook the bottle. You have to shake the bottle before using; for sulphur will not dissolve. Then Dry Valley saturated a…
  24. Christmas by Injunction
    Cherokee was the civic father of Yellowhammer. Yellowhammer was a new mining town constructed mainly of canvas and undressed pine. Cherokee…
  25. A Chaparral Prince
    Nine o’clock at last, and the drudging toil of the day was ended. Lena climbed to her room in the third half-story of the Quarrymen’s Hotel…
  26. The Reformation of Calliope
    Calliope Catesby was in his humours again. Ennui was upon him. This goodly promontory, the earth—particularly that portion of it known as Q…
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