Three men in a boat (to say nothing of the dog)

Коллекция текстов · humor

Preface
The chief beauty of this book lies not so much in its literary style, or in the extent and usefulness of the information it conveys, as in…
Chapter I
Three invalids.—Sufferings of George and Harris.—A victim to one hundred and seven fatal maladies.—Useful prescriptions.—Cure for liver com…
Chapter II
Plans discussed.—Pleasures of “camping-out,” on fine nights.—Ditto, wet nights.—Compromise decided on.—Montmorency, first impressions of.—F…
Chapter III
Arrangements settled.—Harris’s method of doing work.—How the elderly, family-man puts up a picture.—George makes a sensible, remark.—Deligh…
Chapter IV
The food question.—Objections to paraffine oil as an atmosphere.—Advantages of cheese as a travelling companion.—A married woman deserts he…
Chapter V
Mrs. P. arouses us.—George, the sluggard.—The “weather forecast” swindle.—Our luggage.—Depravity of the small boy.—The people gather round…
Chapter VI
Kingston.—Instructive remarks on early English history.—Instructive observations on carved oak and life in general.—Sad case of Stivvings,…
Chapter VII
The river in its Sunday garb.—Dress on the river.—A chance for the men.—Absence of taste in Harris.—George’s blazer.—A day with the fashion…
Chapter VIII (1)
Blackmailing.—The proper course to pursue.—Selfish boorishness of river-side landowner.—“Notice” boards.—Unchristianlike feelings of Harris…
Chapter VIII (2)
There are also tombs of note in the church, and I was afraid I should never get Harris past them; but he didn’t seem to think of them, and…
Chapter IX
George is introduced to work.—Heathenish instincts of tow-lines.—Ungrateful conduct of a double-sculling skiff.—Towers and towed.—A use dis…
Chapter X
Our first night.—Under canvas.—An appeal for help.—Contrariness of tea-kettles, how to overcome.—Supper.—How to feel virtuous.—Wanted! a co…
Chapter XI
How George, once upon a time, got up early in the morning.—George, Harris, and Montmorency do not like the look of the cold water.—Heroism…
Chapter XII (1)
Henry VIII. and Anne Boleyn.—Disadvantages of living in same house with pair of lovers.—A trying time for the English nation.—A night searc…
Chapter XII (2)
We pulled up in the backwater, just below Cookham, and had tea; and, when we were through the lock, it was evening. A stiffish breeze had s…
Chapter XIII (1)
Marlow.—Bisham Abbey.—The Medmenham Monks.—Montmorency thinks he will murder an old Tom cat.—But eventually decides that he will let it liv…
Chapter XIII (2)
We tried river water once, later on in the season, but it was not a success. We were coming down stream, and had pulled up to have tea in a…
Chapter XIV (1)
Wargrave.—Waxworks.—Sonning.—Our stew.—Montmorency is sarcastic.—Fight between Montmorency and the tea-kettle.—George’s banjo studies.—Meet…
Chapter XIV (2)
There was an unaccountable strangeness about Harris. It was something more than mere ordinary tiredness. He pulled the boat against a part…
Chapter XV (1)
Household duties.—Love of work.—The old river hand, what he does and what he tells you he has done.—Scepticism of the new generation.—Early…
Chapter XV (2)
I had not been sitting there long before my attention became attracted to a man in a punt who, I noticed with some surprise, wore a jacket…
Chapter XVI
Reading.—We are towed by steam launch.—Irritating behaviour of small boats.—How they get in the way of steam launches.—George and Harris ag…
Chapter XVII
Washing day.—Fish and fishers.—On the art of angling.—A conscientious fly-fisher.—A fishy story. We stayed two days at Streatley, and got o…
Chapter XVIII
Locks.—George and I are photographed.—Wallingford.—Dorchester.—Abingdon.—A family man.—A good spot for drowning.—A difficult bit of water.—…
Chapter XIX
Oxford.—Montmorency’s idea of Heaven.—The hired up-river boat, its beauties and advantages.—The “Pride of the Thames.”—The weather changes.…