The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Коллекция текстов · humor

Dedication · Preface
Dedication TO THE VERY DEAR AND WELL-BELOVED FRIEND OF MY PROSPEROUS AND EVIL DAYS— TO THE FRIEND WHO, THOUGH IN THE EARLY STAGES OF OUR AC…
On Being Idle
Now, this is a subject on which I flatter myself I really am au fait. The gentleman who, when I was young, bathed me at wisdom's font for n…
On Being in Love
You've been in love, of course! If not you've got it to come. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. Also like the measles…
On Being in the Blues
I can enjoy feeling melancholy, and there is a good deal of satisfaction about being thoroughly miserable; but nobody likes a fit of the bl…
On Being Hard Up
It is a most remarkable thing. I sat down with the full intention of writing something clever and original; but for the life of me I can't…
On Vanity and Vanities
All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men—more so, if possible. So are children, particularly children. One o…
On Getting on in the World
Not exactly the sort of thing for an idle fellow to think about, is it? But outsiders, you know, often see most of the game; and sitting in…
On the Weather
Things do go so contrary-like with me. I wanted to hit upon an especially novel, out-of-the-way subject for one of these articles. "I will…
On Cats and Dogs (1)
What I've suffered from them this morning no tongue can tell. It began with Gustavus Adolphus. Gustavus Adolphus (they call him "Gusty" dow…
On Cats and Dogs (2)
After recovering from these bitter recollections, they vie with each other in bursts of admiration for the brute, until some more than usua…
On Being Shy
All great literary men are shy. I am myself, though I am told it is hardly noticeable. I am glad it is not. It used to be extremely promine…
On Babies
Oh, yes, I do—I know a lot about 'em. I was one myself once, though not long—not so long as my clothes. They were very long, I recollect, a…
On Eating and Drinking
I always was fond of eating and drinking, even as a child—especially eating, in those early days. I had an appetite then, also a digestion.…
On Furnished Apartments
"Oh, you have some rooms to let." "Mother!" "Well, what is it?" "'Ere's a gentleman about the rooms." "Ask 'im in. I'll be up in a minute."…
On Dress and Deportment
They say—people who ought to be ashamed of themselves do—that the consciousness of being well dressed imparts a blissfulness to the human h…
On Memory
"I remember, I remember, In the days of chill November, How the blackbird on the—" I forget the rest. It is the beginning of the first piec…