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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Коллекция текстов · humor

  1. To Do
    ON THE PREPARATION AND EMPLOYMENT OF LOVE PHILTRES 91 ON THE DELIGHTS AND BENEFITS OF SLAVERY 119 ON THE CARE AND MANAGEMENT OF WOMEN 149 O…
  2. On The Art Of Making Up One’s Mind - (1)
    “NOW, which would you advise, dear? You see, with the red I shan’t be able to wear my magenta hat.” “Well then, why not have the grey?” “Ye…
  3. On The Art Of Making Up One’s Mind - (2)
    Nor in jokes at the expense of policemen is the fun entirely on your side. Maybe I did not proceed with judgment. It occurs to me now, look…
  4. On The Disadvantage Of Not Getting What One Wants - (1)
    LONG, long ago, when you and I, dear Reader, were young, when the fairies dwelt in the hearts of the roses, when the moonbeams bent each ni…
  5. On The Disadvantage Of Not Getting What One Wants - (2)
    The cake cannot last for ever if we will eat of it so greedily. There must come the day when we have picked hungrily the last crumb—when we…
  6. On The Disadvantage Of Not Getting What One Wants - (3)
    Have we not forgotten the meaning of the word “virtue”? Once it stood for the good that was in a man, irrespective of the evil that might l…
  7. On The Preparation And Employment Of Love Philtres - (1)
    OCCASIONALLY a friend will ask me some such question as this, Do you prefer dark women or fair? Another will say, Do you like tall women or…
  8. On The Preparation And Employment Of Love Philtres - (2)
    And then my thoughts travelled to small homes in distant suburbs, and these bright lads and lasses round me came to look older and more car…
  9. On The Delights And Benefits Of Slavery - (1)
    MY study window looks down upon Hyde Park, and often, to quote the familiar promise of each new magazine, it amuses and instructs me to wat…
  10. On The Delights And Benefits Of Slavery - (2)
    “Done!” you retort bitterly; “why, I haven’t begun yet.” “Well, be quick,” she says, “because you’re wasting time.” Thus admonished, you at…
  11. On The Care And Management Of Women
    I TALKED to a woman once on the subject of honeymoons. I said, “Would you recommend a long honeymoon, or a Saturday to Monday somewhere?” A…
  12. On The Minding Of Other People’s Business - (1)
    I WALKED one bright September morning in the Strand. I love London best in the autumn. Then only can one see the gleam of its white pavemen…
  13. On The Minding Of Other People’s Business - (2)
    I said it was very trying, shopping. I also said, as he invited me, and as he appeared determined to go on talking, that I would have a bra…
  14. On The Time Wasted In Looking Before One Leaps - (1)
    HAVE you ever noticed the going out of a woman? When a man goes out, he says—“I’m going out, shan’t be long.” “Oh, George,” cries his wife…
  15. On The Time Wasted In Looking Before One Leaps - (2)
    Keep your powder dry, and trust in Providence, is the motto of the wise. Wet powder could never be of any possible use to you. Dry, it may…
  16. On The Nobility Of Ourselves - (1)
    AN old Anglicized Frenchman, I used to meet often in my earlier journalistic days, held a theory, concerning man’s future state, that has s…
  17. On The Nobility Of Ourselves - (2)
    She is a good, all-round sportswoman, is the pretty girl in the picture. The only thing I have to say against her is that she makes one dis…
  18. On The Motherliness Of Man - (1)
    IT was only a piece of broken glass. From its shape and colour, I should say it had, in its happier days, formed portion of a cheap scent-b…
  19. On The Motherliness Of Man - (2)
    “Or if luck be against me, she is possibly a smart woman, that is to say, her conversation is a running fire of spiteful remarks at the exp…
  20. On The Inadvisability Of Following Advice - (1)
    I WAS pacing the Euston platform late one winter’s night, waiting for the last train to Watford, when I noticed a man cursing an automatic…
  21. On The Inadvisability Of Following Advice - (2)
    Most of our leisure time we spend sneering at one another. It is a wonder, going about as we do with our noses so high in the air, we do no…
  22. On The Playing Of Marches At The Funerals Of Marionettes - (1)
    HE began the day badly. He took me out and lost me. It would be so much better, would he consent to the usual arrangement, and allow me to…
  23. On The Playing Of Marches At The Funerals Of Marionettes - (2)
    Ah well, it was only a play: it is over now. You and I, little tired dolls, lying here side by side, waiting to know our next part, we can…
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