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Prologue
Years ago, when I was very small, we lived in a great house in a long, straight, brown-coloured street, in the east end of London. It was a…
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Novel Notes - Chapter I - (1)
When, on returning home one evening, after a pipe party at my friend Jephson's, I informed my wife that I was going to write a novel, she e…
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Novel Notes - Chapter I - (2)
"He handed me photographs of both the young persons under consideration. I jotted down on the back of each such particulars as I deemed wou…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Ii - (1)
I can't honestly say that we made much progress at our first meeting. It was Brown's fault. He would begin by telling us a story about a do…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Ii - (2)
So notorious throughout the neighbourhood did this dishonest practice of his become, that, after a time, the majority of the local tradespe…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Iii - (1)
We had much trouble with our heroine. Brown wanted her ugly. Brown's chief ambition in life is to be original, and his method of obtaining…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Iii - (2)
"My cousin experienced some difficulty in securing the drunken father. Most of the drunken fathers he interviewed upon the subject had a ro…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Iv - (1)
We held our next business meeting on my houseboat. Brown was opposed at first to my going down to this houseboat at all. He thought that no…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Iv - (2)
As soon as we reached home we informed Amenda of our plan. The moment the girl opened the door, Ethelbertha burst out with: "Oh! can you sw…
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Novel Notes - Chapter V - (1)
Brown and MacShaughnassy came down together on the Saturday afternoon; and, as soon as they had dried themselves, and had had some tea, we…
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Novel Notes - Chapter V - (2)
In the evening, strolling through the village, we saw him sitting by the open door of his mother's cottage, with a shawl wrapped round him.…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Vi - (1)
"Cats," remarked Jephson to me, one afternoon, as we sat in the punt discussing the plot of our novel, "cats are animals for whom I enterta…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Vi - (2)
"'Oh no, don't,' said the mistress. "'Oh, poor thing, it's wet,' said the housemaid. "'Perhaps it's hungry,' said the cook. "'Try it with a…
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Chapter Vii
Does man ever reform? Balzac says he doesn't. So far as my experience goes, it agrees with that of Balzac a fact the admirers of that autho…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Viii - (1)
One day we spoke of crime and criminals. We had discussed the possibility of a novel without a villain, but had decided that it would be un…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Viii - (2)
"The whole house was deadly still, and I could hear every word of his troubled ravings. I almost felt as if I had no right to be there, lis…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Ix - (1)
The discussion arose in this way. I had proposed a match between our villain and the daughter of the local chemist, a singularly noble and…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Ix - (2)
"'Not exactly,' he replied; 'I lost sight of her after I left Yarmouth, and I did not see her again until five days ago, when I came across…
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Novel Notes - Chapter X - (1)
The final question discussed at our last meeting been: What shall our hero be? MacShaughnassy had suggested an author, with a critic for th…
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Novel Notes - Chapter X - (2)
"Ethelbertha rose, calm but severe. "'Where have you been, Amenda?' she inquired. "'Gadding half over the county with a lot of low soldiers…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Xi - (1)
Said Brown one evening, "There is but one vice, and that is selfishness." Jephson was standing before the fire lighting his pipe. He puffed…
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Novel Notes - Chapter Xi - (2)
"'No,' said the other man. "'Whether I should kill you or not.' "'They told me,' he continued, after a pause, 'a lot of silly gossip which…
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Chapter Xii
How much more of our fortunately not very valuable time we devoted to this wonderful novel of ours, I cannot exactly say. Turning the dogs'…