Chapter XI (2)

    "No," she said bitterly. "It was a roll in the hay with a stranger."
    "For God's sake, Gabby...."
    "That's what you're turning it into. You're not the man I met. You're somebody else. I'm really meeting you for the first time, and I'm ashamed. I ... If you love me ... whatever your idea of love is ... for pity's sake go away!"
    "My idea of love isn't running away," he answered. He put his hand on her shoulder. "It's sticking together right down the line and fighting it out together."
    "Please don't touch me," Gabby said, shrugging her shoulder out of his grasp. "And stop using that horrible childish word over and over again. Fighting. Fighting. Fighting. That's all you know."
    "What else is there?" Lennox glared at her. "Will you grow up! Somebody mentions fight and you start screaming. Do you know what you're screaming about? Have you ever been in a scrap?"
    "Don't argue like a child."
    "I'm asking a question. I want an answer. Have you ever been in a fight?"
    "No."
    "I thought not. You're so damned pretty and so damned sweet-tempered you've never had to fight for anything. Life's handed you everything in your lap."
    "I haven't had everything."
    "Only because you haven't wanted everything. Sweet God, why don't you find out what it's all about before you pass sentence on slobs like me who've had to fight every inch of the way." Lennox pounded a fist into his palm. "You're blind. You've had it too easy. A writer-type guy once made up a circle. Life is Character, he said. Character is Conflict. Conflict is Life. That's the vicious circle we're all trapped in. You too."
    "No! I won't be trapped in the dirt."
    "Yes, you too! And it isn't dirt. You're like the prudes who think sex is dirty. What the hell are you afraid of? Try a fight. Maybe you'll get to like it. Maybe you'll get to grow up a little and come out of your dream world."
    "You're impossible!" she cried. "You're hateful!"
    "You make a big pitch for peace," he growled, his face darkening. "You talk it up about feeling filthy because the dogs are fighting; but that's just cover-up, girl. That isn't the truth of what's in you."
    "No?" Gabby answered steadily. "What is?"
    "Jealousy. Envy."
    "Of what?"
    "What every man has and no woman has. You love to castrate us. That's the one burning drive in you with your career and women's rights and politics. You can't forgive us for that. You try to cut every man down to your size, your sex, your weakness. I don't know what you did to Audibon with your knife, but you're not doing it to me!"
    She turned white. "You're horrible," she whispered. "You're worse than Roy. Worse! I don't want to see you again ... ever! Go away. Don't come back ... ever!"
    "So you can go back to Audibon?"
    "Is that what you think I'll do?"
    "What else can I think if you won't fight and won't let me fight? How else am I supposed to take this?"
    She leaped up, ran to the front door and opened it. She held it open, her dark eyes flashing furiously at Lennox. He picked up his burberry and went to the door. There he hesitated.
    "Listen," he began. "We can't do this. We've got to help each oth—"
    "Go away!" she cried. "Go away and fight. Find your Aimee Driscoll and beat her up again. Or would you rather stay and beat me? That would make you feel manly, wouldn't it? Then I could go to Aimee and show her my bruises. Would you enjoy that ... you big, virile beast?"
    "Go to hell, you God damned bitch!" he shouted and blundered out into the hall. Gabby slammed the door and locked it. She began to sob and gag painfully. She ran to the bathroom and was violently ill. One thought persisted through the sobbing and the sickness, Lennox had destroyed everything and finished with her ruin.