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Carmen - (1)
We was playin' rummy over to Hatch's, and Hatch must of fell in a bed of four-leaf clovers on his way home the night before, because he pla…
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Carmen - (2)
Well, the next act's out to Lily and Pat's, and it ain't no Y.M.C.A. headquarters, but it's a hang-out for dips and policemans. They's a ca…
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Three Kings And A Pair - (1)
Accordin' to some authorities, a person, before they get married, should ought to look up your opponent's family tree and find out what all…
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Three Kings And A Pair - (2)
"Why don't we play cards?" I says. "It's Sunday," says the Missus. "Has the mayor stopped that, too?" I says. But she winked at me again, t…
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Gullible's Travels - (1)
I I promised the Wife that if anybody ast me what kind of a time did I have at Palm Beach I'd say I had a swell time. And if they ast me wh…
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Gullible's Travels - (2)
"He gets poor pay and he does poor work," says the burglar. "When I press clo'es I press 'em right." "Well," I says, "the tailor on Sixty-t…
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Gullible's Travels - (3)
"Well," says the Missus when we got there, "it's time to wash up and go to lunch." "Wash up and go to lunch, then," I says; "but I'm goin'…
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The Water Cure - (1)
When it comes to makin' matches I hand it to the women. When it comes to breakin' 'em leave it to the handsomer sex. The thirteenth o' June…
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The Water Cure - (2)
"Chess?" says I. "And you count all the people that gets on?" "That's me," he says. "How many's on now?" I ast him. "Eight hundred-odd," he…
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Three Without, Doubled - (1)
I They ain't no immediate chance o' you gettin' ast out to our house to dinner not w'ile round steak and General Motors is sellin' at the s…
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Three Without, Doubled - (2)
"Is it somethin' I can settle?" he ast. "Yes, sir," I says, "because we was bettin' on the rent you paid for this apartment. The Missus say…