Gullible's Travels, Etc.

Коллекция текстов · humor

Carmen (1)
"Please see that they's some towels put in 559." Carmen (1) We was playin' rummy over to Hatch's, and Hatch must of fell in a bed of four-l…
Carmen (2)
So w'ile they're flatterin' each other back and forth, a couple o' the girls is monkeyin' with the pasteboards and tellin' their fortunes,…
Three Kings and a Pair (1)
Accordin' to some authorities, a person, before they get married, should ought to look up your opponent's family tree and find out what all…
Three Kings and a Pair (2)
Monday noon I chased over to the Auditorium and they was only about eighty in line ahead o' me, and I was hopin' the house would be sold ou…
Gullible's Travels — I
I promised the Wife that if anybody ast me what kind of a time did I have at Palm Beach I'd say I had a swell time. And if they ast me who…
Gullible's Travels — II
I thought we was in Venice when we woke up next mornin', but the porter says it was just Cairo, Illinois. The river'd went crazy and I bet…
Gullible's Travels — III
We'd wired ahead for rooms at the Alcazar, and when we landed in St. Augustine they was a motor-bus from the hotel to meet us at the statio…
Gullible's Travels — IV (1)
The Poinciana station's a couple hundred yards from one end o' the hotel, and that means it's close to five miles from the clerk's desk. By…
Gullible's Travels — IV (2)
And at half past twelve every day we'd follow the crowd to the Breakers' porch and dance together, the Missus and I. Then it'd be back to t…
Gullible's Travels — V · Gullible's Travels — VI · Gullible's Travels — VII
Gullible's Travels — V In our mail box the next mornin' they was a notice that our first week was up and all we owed was one hundred and fo…
The Water Cure (1)
When it comes to makin' matches I hand it to the women. When it comes to breakin' 'em leave it to the handsomer sex. The thirteenth o' June…
The Water Cure (2)
"The trip's off if you don't," I says. "If you don't say yes I'll never speak to you again," says Bessie. For a minute I hoped he wouldn't…
The Water Cure (3)
We wandered round till dinner-time, and then dropped into a little restaurant where they give you a whole meal for thirty-five cents and ma…
Three Without, Doubled — I
They ain't no immediate chance o' you gettin' ast out to our house to dinner—not w'ile round steak and General Motors is sellin' at the sam…
Three Without, Doubled — II
It was a Friday evenin' about three weeks ago when I come home and found the Wife quaverin' with excitement. "Who do you think called up?"…
Three Without, Doubled — III (1)
Well, Mrs. Garrett had called up to say that the feed before the game would begin at seven bells; so I and the Missus figured on bein' on h…
Three Without, Doubled — III (2)
"And I got the ace o' hearts," says Messenger. "Even if it didn't take a trick it'd make aces easy; so our three hundred above the line giv…
Three Without, Doubled — IV
I can tell you the rest of it in about a minute. The Missus had became resigned and everything was goin' along smooth till last Tuesday eve…